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| Dear Xanga,
I made a promise to myself not to return to you until the day I got accepted into med school. And by me making this entry, I guess you've already figured out what happened.
But trust me, the road to this point wasn't easy. For the longest time, I was under the impression that it wasn't going to happen at all. I would sit for hours on end refreshing my e-mail inbox and calling home to see if any mail had come for me. There was nothing.
I began to doubt myself. Maybe this career path wasn't meant for me. Maybe I should just do something else. Maybe I really wasn't good enough. The fact that everyone around me was piling up acceptances didn't make things any easier. Sometimes, I would just sit in my room just to avoid my roommates from asking me whether I had heard any news yet. It's not that I didn't want to talk to them, it's just that I didn't want to be reminded of how no one wanted me. Things weren't where I wanted them to be, and there was nothing I could really do.
But, the one thing I did do is the one thing that I think helped me get through this entire process. Every morning and every night, I would pray that God would make a way for me to get into medical school. I knew that if it was truly his will, he would make it happen for me. My faith kept me sane, and it showed. People were surprised at how well I was taking this entire ordeal, and I can only attribute that to my faith. I know He has a plan for me, and it just took a little patience to see it unfold.
And the whole time I was not ready to believe in myself, there were those around me who helped me to keep my head up. Family, friends, my advisers in the Meyerhoff office, everyone in my lab, and everyone else who knew what I had been going through. They all had faith in me, and put an end to my pity party.
Mr. Harmon, who is my Meyerhoff adviser, and I decided to tackle this situation head on. He and Mr. Toliver were determined to get me in somewhere. They pulled some strings, and were able to get me an interview for the PhD program at the Medical University of South Carolina. I knew that this might have been my last chance to leave an impression on someone. I pulled out the stops and had a great interview and visit. Charleston would take some getting used to, but I'm sure it would have grown on me. I just needed to take the GRE, and they could make a final decision on whether I got in or not.
I took the GRE. Man, that was definitely one time that I felt like I should know everything on the exam, but knew abosolutely nothing at the same time. But, I got a respectable score, and that was all that I needed. I got home and e-mailed my scores. Hopefully it was going to end in an acceptance.
Monday morning, I receive an e-mail saying that I should hear a decision soon. I sit anxiously for the next two days. Wednesday morning, I open up my inbox. I open up an e-mail from MUSC. Good news! I'm in! Yaaaay! I won't be stuck after all. What a relief. My first instinct is to accept the offer and e-mail back ASAP. But in the back of my mind, something told me to hold off on that.
Fast forward to Thursday afternoon. I'm walking in Annapolis mall, and decide to check my e-mail because they have free wi-fi. Lo and behold, I get an e-mail from the director of the MD/PhD program at Einstein. They're asking me if i'm still interested, because they're considering giving me a spot. The months and months of waiting led up to this moment. I couldn't hesitate. There was no time. Seize the moment while it still presents itself. I immediately sent a reply from my ipod. Not the most professional of e-mail writing tools, but it got the job done. I couldn't breathe, I was getting jittery, and my mind was racing at a million miles per hour. I jus told myself that it wasn't a guarantee, just a chance. I didn't want to set myself up for disappointment.
Then, I wake up this morning and wipe the sleep from my eyes. He couldn't have possibly replied this early. And again, against everything I thought was possible, there it was. The subject line read something along the lines of "Einstein MSTP Acceptance Letter Attached". O. M. G. This is what I was dreaming of. Einstein had been my first choice, and they finally chose me. It was surreal. I couldn't believe it.
I ran around the house. High-fived my sister. Hugged my mom. Called dad, called erwin. I would have called the entire world if I could. I called Mr. Harmon, and we both knew that this moment would be a defining moment in both of our lives. I was so happy. Although it was raining outside, I was definitely beaming on the inside.
This afternoon, I picked up my nephew from the bus stop. I told him about the e-mail and what had happened. Clearly seeing that he didn't really understand what I was telling him, I broke it down in the simplest terms that I could. I said, "I'm gonna be a doctor." His eyes opened up wide, and all he could say was "wow." And at that moment, I knew my life had changed.
If there was anything to learn from this entire ordeal, it is that patience is key. If you told me two months ago that I was gonna go to med school, I would have laughed and walked away. But I know God has a plan for me, and I know that there was a purpose for all this happening to me.
This is the happiest that I have ever been, and I am even happier that I can share it with all of you. This is only the beginning. I know I haven't been here for a long time, but rest assured that I will be back.
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| Back on campus...
Break was fun while it lasted... now it's time to get back to work.
MCAT prep course at the end of this month... I can't wait!
On that note, grades were posted, and all I can say is 
I hope everyone enjoys the rest of their break (or what's left of it).
If you're here at UMBC, call me up and maybe I can slip away from lab for a while.
Bye!
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| These sure are some IGNANT folks... I would say ignorant, but I'm afraid they might not understand what I mean. Please, take a look for yourself:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0PispXSUaM
Hey buddy, thanks a lot for uplifting the Filipino community. Apparently your mentality is widespread, as evidenced by the fair number of people behind you, also making fools of themselves in this music video.
You really want to let people know that Filipinos are a force to be reckoned with? How about instead of threatening to pull out your guns, you actually do something POSITIVE? Thanks.
We need change. Now.
With that being said, I hope everyone is having a successful semester! Hang in there, just a few more weeks! Best of luck to everyone on these last exams and finals!
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| I know i'm a few days early, but...
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
Everyone be safe out there, and have a good time.
It's my d*** in a box! Good times.
Take care, everyone.
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| My sudden lack of productivity has led me back to Xanga. I haven't updated for a while, so I guess this leads you to believe that I'll write some retrospective post about how I look back at all my old posts and how much I've learned since I wrote them.
I could do that, but I won't.
Foresight is the key, ladies and gentlemen. Keep pushing forward, keep looking ahead. The future will be here as soon as you know it. And as hard and frustrating as today may be, just remember that there will be another tomorrow, tomorrow. Do the best you can, live your life the way you see fit, and at the end of the day, think about all the things you did, and how you can make the next day even better.
But let's not forget why we're where we are now. Do me a personal favor, and call your mom to tell her how much you love her. You really don't appreciate the things that you have until you don't have them anymore. I went to a wake this weekend, and I could see the sadness in my friend's eyes. I could tell he really missed his mom. I said a prayer, looked over to my mom, and put my arm around her. My dad always tells me, "No matter what you do, no matter what happens, love your mom." You're right, dad. And I love you for that.
Speaking of my dad, I should have expected that I would become increasingly similar to him. His philosophies on life puzzle me sometimes, but I oftentimes catch myself saying exactly the same things that he used to say to me. Like father, like son. It's real.
Keep yourself surrounded with a good support system. I'm so secure in knowing there are people around me that I can always talk to when I need help. I'm not afraid to move forward, because I know someone's always got my back.
Stay in love. Kathryn and I have been going for 11 months strong, and I know the months and years that we will be together will pale in comparison to the time that has passed thus far, but it is important nonetheless. We are building the foundation of a lasting relationship. We understand each other so well, and that has led us to be so successful. We still have much to learn about ourselves and each other, but the journey during which this discovery occurs is what's so exciting. Kathryn Peria, I am in love with you.
I have an optimistic outlook on life, and I'm hoping that I can share that with everyone around me. I want to encourage everyone to do the best they can, and live to love life.
Until next time, be good to one another.
I say it because I mean it. That's my word.
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